My Symptoms

I thought I should post my laundry list of symptoms here for reference.

Obesity
Easy Bruising - was tested for Diabetes in my early 20s because of this
*Abdominal Pain
*Constipation alternating with diarrhea
*Diarrhea, chronic
*Gas
*IBS
*Borborygmi (stomach rumbling) - ever sat next to me and heard this?
*Gall Bladder Disease - Surgery Dec 2007 and Jan 2008
*Asthma - I have a hard time breathing after eating gluten.
*Anxiety
*Depression
*Irritability
Kidney Stones - Jan 2010 The ones I had are gone but they could come back.
Dysmenorrhea (painful menstrual periods)
*Bipolar Disorder
*Easy Frustration and Anger
*Panic Attacks
Slow and Scattered Thinking - much better but still struggling
*Weeping Sores on Scalp - caused from gluten shampoos
*Cystic Acne
*Redness on my face
*Sinus Issues - the first thing that happens when I eat gluten is a runny nose. That's a couple of bites into it. My sinuses are crystal clear now and I'm positive I have stopped snoring.
*Muscle Weakness - Didn't realize I had this until I went off gluten
*Arthritis - I have it in my hands and now the pain is gone
*Nausea - Not so much now, but I had a lot before my gall bladder surgery and more recently, about 5 years ago.
*Fatigue - sleeping 12 hours a day and still feeling exhausted
*Urinary Tract Infection - After eating gluten, I feel that sensation
*Impatience - This is SO me
Lack of Desire to Get Things Done - I have a horrible case of lack of motivation. It's something I've struggled with for a very long time.
*Foggy Head - Didn't realize I had this until I went off gluten

I am not saying Celiac Disease caused ALL of this but I'm sure it played an important part.

* things that have gone away since being GF for almost 6 weeks.

Fact: At least 3 million Americans have Celiac Disease. 97% are undiagnosed. That's more than the population of Nevada.

Yes, Chef!

So, I have this thing for Gordon Ramsay. It started when my friend Lara kept talking about Master Chef so I started watching it. Of course I had seen Kitchen Nightmares and Hell's Kitchen a couple of times but not all that seriously.

Gordon Ramsay - Celebrity Chef

I absolutely LOVE Master Chef. I can't wait to see who wins and don't you just love to hate Christian? I hate that Ben Starr went home. He totally screwed up his venison and knew he was going to go. I love watching the team challenges the most.

Anyway, I've been watching Hell's Kitchen this season, too. I really wish Elise would shut her trap or go home. Tired of seeing her but again, it's a love/hate relationship. She really helped out the red team win this week.

I've also been watching Kitchen Nightmares. It's fun to see what they do with the restaurant decor when they go in to fix them up. I'm ready to go back to design. That was what I wanted to major in, service industry. Hopefully someday!

Gluten-free diet has been a struggle. I hate eating now simply because I don't want to be sick. It's a necessary evil and I'm going to have to dig deep and find things that keep me healthy. I thank God everyday for GF Chex. Silly, I know, but it helps with the desire to eat something sweet. Cinnamon is my favorite.

I'm going to have to start cooking, though. I have questions about recipes and whether if it says use an all-purpose flour if I can substitue a GF all-purpose flour and have the cookies or whatever turn out okay. I found a really awesome chocolate chip cheesecake cookie recipe and I want to make that. Looks pretty easy but I am curious about the flour. There are so many GF flours that it's hard to know how/if I can substitute in a regular recipe.

I'm struggling with acceptance and my family believing me when I say I have Celiac Disease. I have not been formally diagnosed but I have over 20 symptoms of it and they still don't want to believe me. It really bothers me when they think I'm just believing whatever I read online. I know how I feel because I am GF and that most of my symptoms are gone in just a few short weeks. I am getting better every single day and I don't know what else I can do for them to understand and have a little bit of faith in me that I know what I am talking about. They know absolutely nothing about Celiac Disease and it's like they refuse to learn! It's so frustrating!

I don't know what else to do.

Hate

I hate gluten
I hate being gluten intolerant
I hate having Celiac Disease
I hate not being able to eat fast food
I hate having to read labels
I hate when I eat something that isn't GF unknowingly
I hate being sick
I hate that I've been sick for so long
I hate that the doctors never knew
I hate that when I had a Colonoscopy that I wasn't tested even when he said my small intestine was enlarged
I hate that I had all those surgeries
I hate that it's ruined my life
I hate that it's ruined my relationships
I hate that it ruined my jobs
I hate that I am unemployed living in a disabled community
I hate that I can't run up the street and get a Big Mac without being doubled over in pain
I hate that I won't ever be able to eat cake, muffins, brownies, donuts, and bread like a regular person
I hate that I can't eat at some of my favorite restaurants anymore
I hate that even a little bit of gluten from cross contamination makes me sick
I hate that my mom won't believe me
I hate that I am crying right now because I ate gluten
I hate that I feel like a complete idiot for not paying attention to labels
I hate that my small intestines are destroyed
I hate that it is going to take a year or longer for them to heal
I hate that I have been malnourished for 15+ years
I hate that my body has been slowly killing itself for 15+ years
I hate that no one knew
I hate that no one helped me
I hate that I feel abandoned
I hate that I feel like my family could have done more
I hate that most people won't listen to me about Celiac
I hate that there are so many people out there going through the same thing not knowing why they are sick
I hate that I wish I had a bigger voice
I hate that people think this is a fad diet
I hate that I feel defeated